"How beautiful a day can be, when kindness touches it"

I can never really express my gratitude to you all for the wonderful messages you all have written to Mike & I.  Yesterday was tough on me (and here I go again, tearing up), but I have to remember that technology and medicine is amazing now a days.  I know I have to remain positive, and I promise I'll get there again, but its going to take some time.  I'm grieving in my own way. Thank goodness for my husband.  He's the strong one.  He finally admitted last night that he's scared and nervous.  For all of you who actually know Mike, he's not emotional.  With his occupation as a Chicago Firefighter, he's seen the worst scenarios, tragic and horrific accidents you can imagine.  He's also seen the beautiful aspects of life, he's delivered five (5) babies himself.  I'm an open book, I cry, I like to talk about how I'm feeling.  Its really the only way I can feel better.  I think with him seeing how I was yesterday, he opened up.  The strong firefighter who is not afraid of anything, is actually nervous for his little girl. 

I know alot of you have called, texted, emailed about you don't know really what to say.  Trust me, I know.  I, too, would not know what to say to someone who was going through this.  But just know, your kind words and support have truly helped me remain positive.  So I thank you for that.

I forgot to add this to yesterday's post.  As of now, Zoe will be transferred to Children's Memorial after the first or second day of life.  Most likely she will be there for at least a week. Surgery will not happen until she's a few months old, unless her organs are in failure or malrotated, then it will happen immediately.  So, again, we really don't know how she'll be until birth.  All we do know is that there are definite heart defects that will need surgery.   The defects that she has will not close or heal on its own.  She will need assistance.

I fed exed our records to Boston today and I hope to hear back from them soon.  Our 2nd opinion with Hope Children's Hospital is on Wednesday, 11/23.  I'm only hoping and praying they don't see anything different.

With the holidays approaching and the 93.9 lite fm playing their holiday music 24/7, I do believe I'll be in much better spirits. I truly love Christmas.  If I had it my way, I'd have a Christmas tree up all year round.  I will continue to talk to Zoe at night, rub my belly and imagine all the good times the Reyes family has ahead.  No one's life is perfect, and everyone has some sort of obstacle to overcome during their lifetime.  We just have to overcome ours alot sooner then I ever imagined...

We have picked our "God Family" for Zoe.  Her godmothers are Jessie Murphy and Stephanie Lara.  I cannot disclose the Godfather as of yet, as Mike hasn't asked him just yet.  But he is a big part of our lives and we know he'd do anything for our family.  Jessie & Steph are two of my best friends.  I couldn't imagine my life without these ladies.  I have alot of close friends who all have a special spot in my life, but these two know me inside and out.  I wanted to share a letter Jessie wrote Zoe.  It is personal, but its so touching, that I wanted to share it with the world.

Dear Zoe,

Little angel, little miracle.  I wanted to write you  a letter that I hope your Mommy will read to you in her belly and then save for you.  I have known your Mommy for a very long time.  Your Mommy is my best friend and like a sister to me.  I am going to be one of your god mothers and I am so honored.  I cannot wait to meet you.  When you arrive, you will have two little friends for life waiting to meet you.  Mia and Madden.  I can only hope that you three girls will one day have the bond that I have with your Mommy.  My reason for this letter is to let you know how much you are already loved and you haven’t even arrived yet.  You have an amazing Mommy and Daddy who are going to be the best parents you could ever ask for.  And your big bro Zander is going to take good care of you too.