I'm sitting here watch my daughter hooked up to a bunch of wires and tubes look at me occasionally with tears rolling down her eyes still intubated, which is killing me. She hears my voice and becomes feisty. I'm waiting to hear whether they will exubate soon.
Only parents who have been in my shoes can truly understand what was going through my head. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. No parent should have to watch their baby get wheeled off to the OR, let alone multiple times. I'm so glad Zander was here with us today. He was able to kiss her goodbye this morning. Zoe was so joyful and happy this morning, almost as if she was telling us she was going to be ok.
Today felt like an eternity. During the surgery we were updated about every 90 minutes. We were told she had a 8 mm VSD. This was twice the size they had seen in her echoes. No wonder why she was clammy, sweaty, and the infamous "wow listen to that murmur". They patched the VSD with gortex, synthetic, and stitched up her small ASD. No other surprises. She has a trivial leak in her tricuspid valve, but won't harm her and just will be watched. Her heart started beating on its own immediately after being unclamped. Best news is that this should do it for surgery. Knock on wood! We did find out through her chest x-ray that her heart is midline. It was so interesting to see. (Meaning her heart is more in the middle of her chest).
Seeing her for the first time, well I broke down. I can't even describe what I felt. For that reason I won't be sharing pictures. Too hard for me. I only want the world to see my beautiful smiling baby.
I've stated this before, God chose Zoe for us for a reason. We're no stronger than any of you, just doing what anyone would do for their child. I've never believed in God as much as I have since February. The power of prayer worked. And I can't thank you enough. I feel as if my purpose on this earth is not only to be a mother but also to spread congenital heart defect and Heterotaxy awareness. Maybe that sounds corny, but I do believe that. I can't thank you enough for allowing us in your lives and letting me share Zoe's story. I only hope were on a road to recovery for EVERYTHING! I only want to make Lurie appearances for check ups, no more stays.
I'll keep everyone updated on Zoe :) just need her to wake up!!!
Once again, your story has touched my heart.. She is an amazing little girl and such an inspiration!! Keep strong!! Hoping for only better days ahead for you and your family <3 try to get some rest!!
ReplyDeleteMama, it's okay to break down - you're entitled every once in a while. I know you'll be so happy to hold her in your arms. You guys are such great parents. Continued prayers coming your way!
ReplyDeleteIzzy's VSD was 5x9 mm and that girl had her nurses on their toes because she had so much energy after her repair :) I'm betting Zoe will be the same way :)
ReplyDeleteGlad all went well.Praying for a smooth recovery.
ReplyDeleteYou are a Heart Mom and you are STRONG. You and Zoe will be just wonderful and make it through all of this. My prayers and love is with you. Our Heart Slugger Easton's Nanni
ReplyDeleteHello from a fellow heart mama, I feel your pain and emotion and I remember how crazy and traumatic life is in the hospital. I know how alone and scary it is. I thought that you might like to read one of my blog posts, hopefully it encourages you while you climb your long hill with your precious Zoe. Our blog is landonsletters.blogspot.com and the post I think might encourage you is titled How Far We've Come. Sending love from our broken hearts!
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