Zoe will be officially 2 weeks old in a few hours. Truly amazing how fast time goes by. You'd think with everything going on with us, that time would seem to stop, but it hasn't, its truly flying by, and its been fun to watch her change a bit.
How are we doing? We're hanging in there. Watching Zoe struggle with the "Anderson" tube daily is horrible. We want her to eat so bad, and its in due time. Mike and I are in a routine for Zander's sake. He's back to his old happy self with this schedule. He has breakfast with Mommy, I get him ready for the day, then I'm off to the hospital. Mike spends the day with him, then he meets me at the hospital late afternoon. I take his car (has Zander in it) and head home to feed him dinner, bath time, play, then bed. We have tried to keep it similar to what we do when I'm working and Mike is off of work. Mike and I communicate via text. I miss my husband.
Well something is working, because in the last week Zander has morphed into a "big boy". He hasn't fought me going to bed. Normally we listen to him scream for 10-15 minutes, then he passes out, or we have to go get him and let him fall asleep on us. The month of December and January was brutal. I have been telling him its bed time after he brushes his teeth, he grabs his favorite trains (his security blanket) and comes over to me and lifts his arms to be picked up. He talks to himself and plays for about 10 minutes and he's out. Its been AMAZING. Now our task is to get him to sleep in the toddler bed over night. We plan on having Zoe in our room for some time (I'm truly fearful of her not breathing, so I want her close to me, call me paranoid, but I think its just). So hopefully by April/May, Zander will have transitioned nicely to his new bed.
Well Zoe was put in her very first outfit 2 nights ago. Katie, one of our favorite night nurses, put it on her. It melted my heart. I guess I should back up and tell some more exciting news (bragging Mommy over here...). I went back to the hospital at night since Mike was feeling under the weather. When I got there in the morning there was a volunteer holding my baby girl. Mama Bear came out and charged in the room and glared at this old lady. She was helping the nurse out since Zoe was having a crying spell. She's used to being held all day (yes we spoil her, but we have every right to) and wanted comfort. Nonetheless, I just felt uncomfortable watching a stranger hold her. So when Mike said he shouldn't go to the hospital, I said I'd go back because I don't want her not held for x number of hours then her scream and have random people holding her. Bragging rights here... I walked in the room around 8pm and she was crying while Katie was giving her a sponge bath. I started talking to Zoe and saying "Mommy's here". She literally stopped crying, turned her head towards me. I held back my tears. She recognizes my voice. She has her nights and days mixed up, so she's awake a good portion of the evening (lucky Mike). So she just gazed at me and I gazed right back at her.
Lindsey, the day time nurse, put a bright pink bow in her hair today. She said since she looks so much like Zander, she wanted to put a bow in her hair (she has plenty of it). I think I can get used to barrettes, bows, headbands. I've been so used to newsboy caps and beanies for the last 19 months, I think I'm going to have so much fun dressing her up!
So how is she doing....still recovering well. She's still producing green stomach bile, but its more of a lime green color. They tried something new today. They didn't want to pull out any of the bile, they wanted to see if they left it, how she would do. If she didn't throw up, then maybe she's ready for food. My inlaws were there with me. I was talking to Zoe when she was turning bright red in the face. I was hoping she was pooping (its been a few days). She literally was foaming at the mouth with all this green stomach bile. I freaked out, started crying, Zoe was just fine. The nurse reassured me that this is going to happen. She's going to also throw up her food when she finally eats. Its so devastating to watch her go through this. 13 days without food (she is getting fluids through an IV). We're hoping we can have her eat in a few days. For all of the heart moms out there or any parent having a child in the NICU, you never thought seeing poopy diapers would make you so excited, I'm sure you all can relate. We cheer Zoe on when we hear she had pooped!
We're waiting on her newborn screen test to come back. Her first one came back abnormal. Her thyroid and an enzyme. The Hospitalist reassured me that alot of NICU babies have this happen to them and told me not to stress out about it until they get the final results. Of course I asked if it does come back abnormal, then medication. And the answer was yes. For how long, who knows. But I'm staying positive. I do not want her on any more meds.
Also going to discuss her holes with Cardiology tomorrow or on Monday. I just have alot of questions that the NICU team can't answer. Right now they aren't worried about her ASD and VSD hole. Its almost like they are taking a step back until the PICU team is done with Zoe.
I'll update the blog after the weekend with new photos. I'm exhausted and just need to head to bed.
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