Stressful week

I sit here while my mom is giving Zander a bath, my husband is with Zoe and I'm at a loss for words (which rarely happens).  This week has been so hard.  Zoe was doing so well post surgery.  Almost too perfect.  Out breathing the vent, then eating 30 oz the first day, laughing, giggling, then Thursday night came and all hell broke loose.  Mike was sitting with her and looked up at the monitor and saw that her heart rate rose to the 230's.  The team of doctors came in, did their thing and was thinking she may have  SVT.  They started her on meds and her heart rate continued that high until yesterday afternoon.  She showed no signs of distress.  The Electrophysicist (EP) came in and said it was the electric conductivity of her heart (AV Node).  It was not syncing properly.  This is rare and really doesn't happen, but of course it happened to Zoe.   While I was holding her yesterday 2 CICU Nurse Practitioners came in and it so happened that her rate went from 230 to 242 to 256 to 263 to 272.  I freaked out.  The two of them said not to freak out, they gave each other looks and then said lets talk outside.  Within a minute there was around 10-12 people in our room.  "Mom we need you to put Zoe on the bed".  12 leads came on, the shock cart was in the room and one of the docs came to me and said "Mom, we have to give her a drug that will flatline her".  I didn't even have 30 sec to process that, I immediately teared up and said I don't think I can be in the room with her.  She looked at me crying and our eyes met.  There was no way I was leaving that room knowing that essentially they were stopping her heart.  Fortunately for me, I didn't have to see her flatline.  The drug didn't work.  So she's been on Amnioderone since yesterday.  It took 3 bolus rounds in order for her rate to drop.  She's been in the low 100's since this morning and no fevers (thank god).  The EP doc came in and said since Zoe isn't following protocol (usually JET happens within 24 hours of surgery, not the 3rd day post-op).  She lowered the dosage, but is still on a continuous drip.  She will be until the morning.  We will probably be there for a few more days.  We are coming home with a monitor that links to our landline, so if her arrhythmia is off, our phone will ring.  This just sums up the rest of our week.  Needless to say its been draining.  On the bright side, her heart is healing beautifully:)