Heart Day...

I stole this from another heart mom.  I couldn't pass sharing this as Valentine's Day should be more than just a Hallmark Holiday....

As tomorrow dawns, the focus will be on hearts. Candy hearts, chocolate hearts, paper hearts, heart stickers - anything that you can make a heart out of.

Tomorrow hearts will be everywhere, representing lovers across the globe. From the couples celebrating their golden anniversaries, to elementary school sweethearts.

Tomorrow, cards will be given, gifts opened, flowers delivered and marriage proposed - hearts will be overflowing.

 But what about the millions of broken hearted? What will tomorrow mean for them? Simple - everything.

For every 1 out of 100 people, tomorrow will not be represented by candy, chocolate or pretty red paper hearts, instead it will be represented by the images of broken hearts. Tomorrow, February 14th, is Congenital Heart Defects Awareness Day.

 Tomorrow is a day, not just for Hallmark cards and affection, but instead, and more importantly I might add, a day to raise awareness for the 1000000 babies that will be born this year with a broken heart. A day to honor the millions who are currently suffering from congenital heart disease, for those who have fought and won, and those who have died - which 10% of all babies born with Congenital Heart Disease will die before they reach their first birthday.

Tomorrow is a day to extend strength and support to the broken hearted parents who are told their child has a heart defect, that their newborn is in heart failure. It is a day to offer compassion to parents sitting next to an ICU bed, while their tiny baby lays there on a ventilator with their chest left open after open heart surgery. It is a day to offer a shoulder to cry on to the parents who have had to bury their children - lost to the most common birth defect there is.

So tomorrow, when you're opening your cards, eating your chocolates, and smelling the roses your husband gave you, please, take a moment and think of us - the Broken Hearted. Think of a way you can help us - be it educating yourself on CHD, perhaps sharing this post, or better yet - lobbying your state government to make the Pulse Oximetry test part of standard newborn screening.

The Pulse Ox test can catch up to 50% of undiagnosed heart defects, saving the lives of innocent children - giving them a chance to grow up to celebrate their own Valentine's Day.

 This Valentine's Day, have a heart - and help save a heart.

Valentine's Day was different for Mike and I.  Usually we are the cheesy couple that celebrates this holiday.  I tend to make a big deal out of silly holidays; I really love an excuse to "celebrate" anything.  We split up our day, Mike had the morning shift and I had the evening shift.  We had some special visitors last night, Steph & David.  Steph is one of Zoe's godmothers, one of my best friends from college.  I was very happy that they were able to meet her and they took time out from celebrating the holiday to be with us.

Playing with Zander all day yesterday, cleaning house, then racing to the NICU and being there for 4 hours, plus pumping in between all of that, really played a toll on me.  I could barely keep my eyes open at 8:30 last night.  I said good bye to my sweet baby girl and headed out to my car in the parking garage. I see a dozen pink tulips inside the dash (my favorite flower (our very 1st valentine's together he got me those as well)).  He got a card (which is VERY rare) and put $6 in the card for me to get out of the garage (I never carry cash).  I literally burst into tears.  I'm emotional normally, but I still have the hormones going on.  Such a sweet Valentine's Day, especially since we didn't spend it together.  I have one great husband.

Today my mom came into the city to watch Zander so Mike could run errands and I could head to the NICU.  My mom still hasn't met Zoe yet due to having Bronchitis.  She's almost better, just not contagious.  However, the NICU wouldn't even allow her to come through the doors with a hacking cough.  Hopefully its gone by this weekend so she can hold her granddaughter.  Here are some pictures of Zander from today, some in a Big Bro t-shirt (Thanks MJ & Angelo) and then some from opening up his Valentine's Day gifts from Mimi...

So today we heard some fantastic news!  Zoe is progressing wonderfully.  She's not producing any more or any less stomach bile, and its becoming more lime green/clearish.  Dr. Madonna did her daily check and stated that in a few days if it continues getting better they will clamp the Anderson tube and we can try breast milk.  If she can hold down the milk, they will take out the tube!  Then its the process of retraining her to eat, which will be tiny amounts at first.  Here's hoping she continues to fight to get better and we're home by Easter.

I met with the Genetics department today to only find out what we already know.  Heterotaxy is what she has, and its not chromosomal.  It could possibly be genetic between Mike and I.  But there's not enough research done to actually definitively tell us if its genetic or if its just sporadic.  I actually felt I knew more about Heterotaxy then the Genetics woman did.  I've done plenty of research since October.

I threw in the towel with pumping.  I just wasn't producing as much as I should be for a 10 day old baby.  The nurses think its because of stress and lack of sleeping.  Getting up every 3 hours is incredibly hard when you have as much on your plate as I do.  I was stressing that I wasn't getting enough milk, stressing how to handle Zander while I'm pumping (usually when he was the most mischievous), stressing that I'm down 45 minutes to an hour with my daughter due to pumping (finding a lactation room, pumping, cleaning pump supplies) and the obvious, having a baby in the NICU.  It just wasn't worth the aggravation.  So today I turned in my hospital pump and called it a day.  Let me tell you, the drive home on LSD would normally frustrate me due to bumper-to-bumper traffic, however I felt such a sense of relief due to one less thing I had to worry about.  So all you ladies who pump religiously and make it work....I commend you!

So now we just wait on little Zoe to see when we can start feeding her.  And I only hope to share more good news every few days!

Sweet Dreams everyone!